Saturday, October 20, 2012

Asking Why

I take issue with people who use transgenderism--or more specifically, their stance with surgery--to discriminate against non-op transsexuals.  I've covered my reasons in the past, on my old blog geared specifically for gender as a metaphysical topic (a black comedy of a site called "The Akashic Records").  But now that I'm a few years older I have a few new reasons.

     First of all, let me preface by saying there is nothing radically opposed to surgery or TS's who want surgery in my mindset.  It's simply a matter of context and preference.  In my previous entry I outlined a few of my reasons why.  My issue is with women who use their commitments to surgery (commitments, I understand by the way, and applaud) to harass some of us who choose otherwise or are sometimes unable to because of health.  Often times this kind of ignorance stems from undisciplined, abrasive, shallow people (the intuitevly blind) or the sort of transsexuals who are  projecting their issues onto other people.

     We're free to disagree, of course, and on the Internet there's far too much of that counter productive, blog-based squabbling which keeps my eyes rolling in perpetual motions and stops me from reading most of the Internet's TS weblogs, but my argument is based on two simple maxims:

"I do not base my entire gender identity on one part of my body."


"What I do with my penis is none of your business!"

I suppose my issue is that no one asks why, why don't you people plan on having surgery?  But I suppose there's less room for debate when they hear, "I'm comfortable where I am in my transition " or "I have a health condition barring surgery" or "I can't afford it" or "I can't do this to my family right now."  

     For a while my status was a non-issue but I was reminded recently when I spoke to an older transgender woman who's surgery is approaching next year.  She was telling me about a support group she went to and the crowd of younger transsexuals she called, "cross dressers."  Apparently, everyone who isn't planning for surgery in the near future is stuck in CD mode.  She told me how a younger transsexual described herself as "full-time."  I imagine she was somewhere between 20 and 25.  

     "Bullshit," my conversationalist said. "Do you sit down wen you pee?"

     "Eh, no..."

     "Then you're not full time."

      First of all, this is an invasive, trivial question typical of the intuitevly blind.  While I'll admit there's a side of me that has to admire her passion and drive for surgery, the rest of me hangs my head in something shy of pity, pity for all the insecure, overbearing people of the world who project their insecurities onto anyone who isn't afraid or repulsed by their lack of convention.  

     But this is all beside the point.  At a certain point I realized belittling and over-illustrating your point is just as ridiculous in the greater scheme.  After a while we have to become Jesus about it and turn the other cheek, then take your turn when things cool down and voice your point of view calmly and rationally.  Hopefully it will enhance someone's point of view or at the very least engage them.  


  1. The ridiculous thing about people making judgements like this and checking out the male 'marks' is that this kind of habit is itself a profoundly masculine way of dealing with insecurity.
    Actually I do think that an urge to surgery sometimes does go more with the 'classic' transsexual narrative involving very early trans identification. Not because it's strongly inbuilt but because they're more likely to be told at a very early age that having a penis means that they're not girls, a 'fact' internalised and brooded on so it becomes a super high priority.

  2. Well said, Sophie. Couldn't have put it better myself. Come to think of it, the only time I really 'wanted' surgery was during that state and it just sort of wore off when I began realizing how feminine my mind and body had become without it. And all the extra interests I have in my life to spend energy on. And money.

    Anyone interested should know that I would not have written this entry if it weren't for an episode of "Trading Spouses" that found its way to my recommended videos on YouTube after years of searching for God Warrior reenactments. This particular episode featured a woman from Oregon who traded places with a lesbian and spent her time belittling her homemaking partner's way of life, friends and minority affiliations. Quite possibly the worst person I've seen on TV. But no one educated her by calling her the worst person, they did it by letting her examine her actions which lead to a breakdown I wasn't expecting. In the end I sort of found compassion for this woman who realized she had spent so much time an energy making herself look monstrous. Sometimes there's no better way to teach highly insensitive people. Arguing is just beyond them because you won' "win." Change is a very different process, as we in the TG world know very well.